Facelet of Life

And I enjoyed myself immensely! There was internet access in the majority of the hotels I stayed in, but it’s useless. Meishan Hotel, which had a PC in every room for free usage, was unable to go to majority of the international websites. Even facebook or youtube! Vtunnel was also useless. I cannot imagine what’ll happen if I had chosen China for my degree. Yes, it’s dirt cheap, but no internet for 3 years? Hell NO!

It’s back to work tomorrow. Rather reluctantly. I got 4 new hoots from China. 1st is the most expensive, but paid by my parents. A DZi bead. 2nd is crystal ball, called tiger eye. 3rd is a sling bag. 4th is tea.

Oh yes, I took a hell lots of photos. So many that I had to delete some of the photos as the memory card was getting full. I regret not bringing along my sony digicam, as it has wide angle lens, and a big memory card. Pictures will be up soon!

I looked at my cousin’s blog, and I realized that her past was what I’m experiencing for the past 3 years. A mundane, sad and monotonous world. It changed when she got a new job, with cool colleagues. She has now slimmed down, and is looking happier.

Back in 2008, I had a goal. It was to save and save money. To the point of starving myself. Look at where it got me. Money in bank, but in October, something snapped. I was 65kg at my slimmest. I stopped my diet after I came back from Taiwan.

Now I just eat whatever I like. My weight ballooned to 95kg. It’s time to stop before I hurt my body permanently.

Maybe it’s time to start looking for a new job? Something is stopping me.

At least for me and my family. That fucker ah pek next door slipped, fell, knocked his head, and got a stroke. Hahaha! The whole neighbourhood is celebrating! No wonder I didn’t see him for 1 week when I go off to work. I hope he stay in hospital or old folk home forever!

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat.

Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.

To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.

Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. “That’s one UGLY cat!!”

All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.

Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.

Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought.

Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear – Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly.